11 July, 1999
Nardwuar The Human Serviette
Canada has suffered a temporary blow to one of its truly unique personalities. Late on Saturday, July 10, 1999, Nardwuar The Human Serviette, CiTR DJ, guerilla journalist, asker of the Chretien "pepper" question, celebrity chaser, pop-culture historian and wildman singer of the Evaporators, endured a brain hemorrhage and a series of seizures. Earlier in the day Nardwuar had been complaining of a soreness and lack of control in his left arm which increased significantly as the day wore on. Nardwuar then practiced with his band the Evaporators, when the pain became intense. Soon after the practice, the arm began to flap uncontrollably and just as Nardwuar slipped into a seizure trying to control the arm he managed to yell "Call 911" to his mom.
Once at the hospital, Nardwuar suffered a second seizure and was taken from Emergency to Intensive Care. It was then diagnosed that Nardwuar, age 31, had suffered a burst blood vessel in his brain, and subsequently a brain hemorrhage on the 'motor' side of the brain, affecting certain physical functions. Luckily for the Nard, this only meant temporary non-use of his left arm and blurry, double vision.
All of this has happened on the eve of what Nardwuar has often been calling "the biggest week of his life" as his band the Evaporators were finally scheduled to headline a club in downtown Vancouver on Sunday, July 11, and perform at the prestigious Yo Yo A Go Go festival in Olympia, Washington on Friday, July 16. Nardwuar was also hoping (hoping a lot) to continue his interview series with singer Courtney Love when her band Hole visits Vancouver, performing at Edgefest.
Nardwuar has since been upgraded to Special Care, and from his bed, Nardwuar's usual mental intensity has remained 100%. Nardwuar has held a band meeting, and is coordinating his life through a bedside payphone that is supposed to be for all patients in the ward but has remained by Nard's side. He has even determined that one of his nurses' ex-boyfriends was once in a punk band that opened for Hole years ago in Alberta! To quote Nardwuar: "I'm being cared for by punks."
At Nardwuar's instruction, The Evaporators show with Bratmobile on Sunday, July 11, 1999 at the Pic Pub went ahead, the Evaporators performing without Nardwuar for the first time in their thirteen year history. To the vocal rescue was outrageous local opera singer Alaric, whose soaring voice convincingly made the "cross-over" to Evaps songs like "Hump The Dog", "Vampire Blues" and "I Gotta Rash". Other singers who helped out the Evaporators at the packed show included an introduction by K Records pop singer Lois, and Bratmobile singer Allison Wolfe and her twin sister Cindy Wolfe performing Nardwuar's signature high-pitched screecher "Welcome To My Castle".
On Monday, July 12, 1999, Nardwuar underwent an angiogram or "brain probe" to determine what went wrong and why. Results are not yet known, but he is in stable condition and is resting comfortably at Lion's Gate Hospital in North Vancouver, BC, Canada. Nardwuar is awaiting further tests this week, and is in fact probably on the phone right now, or pestering his nurses with questions about rock. Further updates on Nardwuar's recovery will be announced as soon as possible.
Concerned friends and fans can email Nardwuar The Human Serviette at email@example.com, and all messages will be delivered to him.