Film maker and author Michael Moore hit
Vancouver a little while back to promote his most recent book,
Stupid White Men. Moore is someone I always love to talk to
so I immediately set up an interview with him. However, at
the last minute, his publicist informed me that Mr. Moore
would be cancelling all his interviews. This kinda sucked,
until I got a tip as to where he was staying…
[Michael Moore's handler walks up to Nardwuar, who is standing on the sidewalk, outside of the hotel.]
Handler: Excuse me, interview Michael, is that what you're trying to do?
Isn't Ivana Trump staying here?
[The handler walks away. Minutes later, Michael Moore walks out of the hotel.]
Nardwuar's Friend Steve Pratt: There he is.
There he is. Go, go, go.
How are you doing there?
In Vancouver, here.
Do you mind, Michael Moore, if we ride
with you to the airport and do an interview with you?
Do you think we could?
We'd love to. Is that okay?
Me and my friend Chris Nelson, are going to come with you, Mr. Moore.
[They hop inside the van.]
So, Michael Moore, who are you?
It's almost over. You're missing Idaho.
Are you skipping Idaho, Mr. Moore?
What is wrong with your mom's meat
You're brand new book, Michael Moore,
is on Reagan Books. Reagan Books. That is pretty wild.
Okay, I say Nirvana, you say…
I know. I say "Near-vana,"
you say "Nir-vana."
I just think of, like, Ronald Reagan, because I'm an uneducated
Canadian, unlike you, being an educated American.
But Reagan Books is pretty wild. Isn't
Rush Limbaugh on Reagan Books, Michael Moore?
And you're all in a great company with
them, Michael Moore.
So, you're happy that your new book,
Stupid White Men, is not airbrushed. Your last book was; not
this book, correct? (Downsize This! Random Threats From an
Unarmed American's cover had the dirt from Moore's fingernails
I think this book tour is going great,
especially because you're not doing it in big, chain corporate
stores. You're only doing university gigs, right, Mr. Moore?
How much is your book selling for in
I think, like forty dollars.
Forty Canadian dollars for your book,
Well, it's a lot for us Canadians. Forty
dollars, especially in British Columbia, where they lowered
the minimum wage. What do you think about that Michael Moore,
lowering the minimum wage?
Yes, they did.
But you've got to be nice to us, Michael
Moore, because don't the Canadian parkas pay for you? They
finance you, don't they Michael Moore?
The Canadian parkas. They're the guys
who finance you, Michael Moore, your empire.
The people. The people who paid for
The Awful Truth (Moore's television series). The Canadian
parkas. That's what you refer to them as.
You used that. The parkas paid for you.
Okay, play along with me here, Michael
Moore. Help me. Help me. The Awful Truth funded by Canadians.
Steal this book.
In your new book, Michael Moore, Stupid
White Men, there's a lot of dwelling on toothpaste and zippers.
Do you realize that in Vancouver, British
Columbia, Canada, where you are now right now Michael Moore,
this is where Bill Clinton bought the cigar. He bought the
cigar right here.
Yes he did. He bought the cigar here.
Yes. Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
That's where it all happened, Michael Moore.
We're trailing you, kind of, and thanks
so much for letting us come along with you in your voyage…
Have you ever been trailed by Inspector
Clouseau characters? Like people running after you, trying
to get a file on you, etcetera, etcetera?
Any fun instances in ditching them at
all? We thought, maybe, since we were waiting outside, we
fooled your driver by saying that we were waiting for Ivana
Trump. [to the driver] You fell for that, didn't you?
Do you have any little tricks at all
for avoiding people or people who have chased after you, Michael
Ahh, good comeback there.
Have you requested your FBI file through
the Freedom of Information Act or anything like that? Have
you been able to do that or found any weird stuff on you?
Like, I think there's even stuff on JJ from Good Times. There
must be stuff on Michael Moore.
Didn't the Secret Service ask for an
episode of The Awful Truth?
Where are we going right now, Michael
Moore? Can we follow you some more?
Really, is that okay?
[Nardwuar struggles with the door.]
I've got to get out? How do you get out? Okay, I'll go out this way.
[They get out of the van and walk into a television studio.]
Following Michael Moore as he jaunts
around Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. By the way, your
publicist said that you had cancelled all interviews today,
Harper Collins, Canada.
They set up all these interviews and you didn't do them. So,
where are we going now, Michael Moore? Please, tell us.
And where are we heading, Michael Moore?
And what is this for?
Go ahead and knock 'em dead, Michael
Oh, can we stick around, just get a
few, couple of words after.
Okay, can we just go in front of the
blue screen for just, like, two seconds just to finish?
Michael Moore, I wanted to show you. Look, I just brought this to show to your family.
[Nardwuar's getting both pushed and led out of the studio.]
Your family survival guide to terrorism.
Is it better to be rich or poor?
Can we stick around, Michael? Or does
this mean it's over?
Okay, can we at least go doot doola
doot doo... Thanks so much, Michael Moore, and doot doola
Almost. Doot doola doot doo…
[Nardwuar gets manhandled. He's screaming as he's being led out of the building]
Is it better to be rich or poor, Michael
It is better to be rich or poor?
[still yelling as he gets pushed out of the building] Michael Moore, are you happy that Sammy Hagar is back together with David Lee Roth. [doors shut] Thanks Mike. Appreciate it. [to camera] There we have it. An encounter with Michael Moore in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
[A few minutes later Moore leaves his television interview for a second to specifically address Nardwuar in the parking lot outside]
Well, I was pushed out.
Wait a second. Let's just get a clarification
here, Michael Moore. What happened here?
Yes, I did.
Thank you. Can I have a hug?
I'm so sorry. These were Canadian producers, Canadian TV people who did this to this man. I'm outraged by it and next time, stand up to 'em, man. You play hockey.
Didn't I stand up?
Hey, remember I talked to you once before
and you said that I was on crack?
Nardwuar the Human Serviette.
Thank you. You remember the last time
I talked to you, you said that I was on crack?
One last thing.
Well, thank you, Mr. Moore. We really
appreciate that, too.
Thanks Mike! Rock on! To be continued!
Thanks to Chris Nelson from Much Music's "Going Coastal"
Michael Moore/Nardwuar drawing by Robynn Iwata