Nardwuar: Who are you?
You are Paul Gallagher!
Do you have a mono-brow too, Paul?
Paul Gallagher, brother of Liam and Noel, do you get any respect? Does anybody give you any - I mean, is it hard to get respect - Do you get any respect, Paul Gallagher?
But like, are you the Billy Carter of the Gallagher family?
But do you get any respect though? is it hard to be the brother of the Gallaghers? Because people seem to always be making fun of you - Paul Gallagher, ha ha. The "fattish" older brother of Liam and Noel. What is like to take that sort of abuse, Paul?
But don't they always say it to you?
Have you punched anybody over this?
Paul Gallagher, why does the first line in your book say - it kind of says, "I always wished I was famous." I mean, aren't you setting yourself up right there?
Why are you setting yourself up for that abuse?
Because on page 76 of Brothers you say, "I'll always repay you, Mr. Sifter, by advertising your shop as one of the biggest influences behind the greatest band in the world." You are talking about this guy Mr. Sifter. Who is Mr. Sifter?
But why do you say, "I will always repay you, Mr. Sifter, by advertising your shop as one of the biggest influences behind the greatest band in the world"? Do you have to use your brothers' fame to pay back this man? What are you? I mean, are you their official spokesman? Can't you get ahold of yourself, Paul? Create your own niche. Break through, Paul Gallagher. You're good, too. You don't have to use your brothers' fame for this.
I am talking about how you're talking about how your brothers bought records at the shop and you're advertising the shop as one of the biggest influences of ...
Of Oasis. Create your own-
But it says that you're advertising it.
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, Paul Gallagher!
Do you have any good Canada jokes besides that, Paul Gallagher?
I'm not ripping the piss! I'm not ripping the piss! I'm not ripping the piss, Paul Gallagher!
Well, I'm reading from direct quotes here, Paul Gallagher, brother of Liam and Noel.
It does! On page 76 of your book, it does say, "I'll always repay you, Mr. Sifter, by advertising your shop as one of the biggest influences behind the greatest band in the world."
Okay, why are there no pictures of you in the book, Brothers? Why are there no pictures-
But I want to see-
But I want to see what you look like, Paul.
Paul, did you ever think about writing other books, like maybe about Davy Jones? David Jones of the Monkees is from Openshaw. Openshaw!
Davy Jones, from Openshaw!
And Mick Hucknall from Simply Red is from Dukinfield, Paul Gallagher.
Paul Gallagher! Paul Gallagher!
Paul Gallagher! Paul Gallagher is currently a band manager and A&R consultant. What band?
What's the name of the band?
Boo Baker? Brew. Bee. Beh. Buh. Ruh. Ruh. Yeh. Eugh. Beh. Eugh. Aah. Aah. Keh. Aah. Eh. Aah. Reh.
Rah. Thank you, thank you, Paul Gallagher. Why on page 137 do you comment, "I wish I had a chance to show my talents somewhere." Why do you say that? You're showing it in the book. "I wish I had a chance to show my talents somewhere." Why do you say that? You're setting yourself up for more punishment, Paul. I feel sorry for you.
Paul Gallagher, on page 137 of your book-
"It is hard to imagine your younger brothers becoming the new Keith Richards and Mick Jagger" you say, Paul Gallagher. Your new brothers becoming the new Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. How can you compare your brothers to Richards and Jagger. Liam doesn't write any of the songs, does he? He doesn't co-write anything with Noel.
So why did you use that, Paul Gallagher?
Keith Richards and Jagger co-wrote songs together. Liam and Noel don't co-write songs, so how can you compare him to that?
Paul Gallagher, are you still there? How are you doing, Paul Gallagher?
Thank you, Paul Gallagher.
We really do appreciate your time. Continuing on here, on page 137, you go on to say, "But our Noel was very talented.", "Our Noel." Why do you say, "Our Noel"? What's the deal with "Our Noel"? It is kind of sucky, isn't it? "Our Noel." "Our Liam." Why so much "our"?
I would say, "Liam."
I'd just keep saying, "Liam, Liam, Liam"
Hey, what's wrong with me-
I'm from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Long John Baldry lives here! Long John Baldry lives here, Paul Gallagher.
Paul Gallagher, brother of Liam and Noel, quoting from page 151 of Brothers, "Oasis' performance was magnificent, eclipsing the much raved about Soul Asylum." What are you referring to, right there?
You are saying their performance was magnificent. Are you objective? Are you objective, Paul Gallagher? How can you be objective and call them magnificent when they're your brothers? You love them. You love your brothers, don't you, Paul Gallagher?
But comparing Oasis to Soul Asylum-
Yeah, they are shite. It doesn't take that much to be better than Soul Asylum, does it?
So we agree on something, Paul Gallagher! Soul Asylum are shite!
We are connecting here! We are connecting!
Now, Paul Gallagher, what do you really think about Oasis? I mean, honestly, Paul Gallagher, are they really something special?
I mean, come on. You were a mod, weren't you?
You were a mod.
You were Bod the mod!
You are Paul Gallagher, brother of Liam and Noel. You were Bod the mod. Are not the Secret Affair, the Squire, the Purple Hearts or Prisoners... I mean, the Prisoners.... Aren't they just as good as or better than Oasis, Paul Gallagher?
Why? You love those bands though? Why aren't they as good? The Prisoners!
But you must admit those bands were good. You were down with them. You did like them, Paul Gallagher.
But the Prisoners probably influenced Oasis. The Prisoners are better than Oasis.
Hello, Paul Gallagher. How are you doing? We are speaking here to Paul Gallagher, author of the book, Brothers. And Paul Gallagher is the brother of Liam and Noel of Oasis.
Paul Gallagher, how do you remember so much about your youth? You remember every toy, every cereal, all these things. How do you remember all this stuff?
Because "Noel liked tents." "Noel had a favourite toy wigwam." What was that all about?
Yes, we know what a wigwam is in Canada, Paul Gallagher. You really have something against Canada, don't you, Paul Gallagher?
We're not trying to wind you up. We're just going through the actual book. "Noel liked tents. He had a favourite toy wigwam."
I know, that's what we're trying to elaborate.
Noel got a dog bite at age six. Brave Noel was the only one 'manly' enough to pull a dart out of your head. There were schoolyard fights with Tony Rafferty and Youngy. Like, what is the significance of all this little information you've put out there? Isn't it kind of blah, as you've said earlier?
Why have you given us this information, Paul Gallagher?
But but but-
I know, you're great. You're Paul Gallagher. Paul Gallagher, just one second. You just said, "Who cares that Noel liked tents." Then why did you put that in the book? Why did you put all that stuff about Noel getting a dog bite-
But you just shot me-
But Paul Gallagher, you just scolded me a second ago for asking you about Noel liking tents, and yet you've put it in the book. I'm allowed to ask that question, aren't I? It's in the book.
Now, Paul, continuing-
Paul Gallagher, winding up here-
Just a few more questions-
Just a few more questions. Please, Paul Gallagher. Please, Paul. Are you still there? Please, Paul.
Just a few more questions-
Recently it was reported that you were with Liam when he allegedly did coke on November 9th and was caught by the fuzz.
Recently it was reported in the papers that you were with Liam when he allegedly did coke and was caught by the fuzz.
Have you seen anyone offer-
Have you ever seen anyone offer Oasis coke? You know, Blow-ace-siss? Get it? Blow-ace-siss? Who hangs around Oasis? Who is offering them coke and stuff?
Continuing on here, winding up-
Paul Gallagher, Bod the Mod, continuing on here on page 143 of Brothers-
You say, "Then one of Liam's mates asked Liz Phair to get her tits out for the lads, which we all find highly amusing." Why did you say that? Isn't that, like, slothlike, Paul Gallagher?
"Get her tits out for the lads." Isn't that kind of mean?
That's very slothlike.
What do you mean,"I wasn't there"?
We're not trying to turn -
We're not trying to put anything around here, Paul Gallagher. You're just saying, "Get her tits out for the lads."
I'm going to be snowboarded. Nardwuar the Human Serviette, I'm going to be snowboarded.
Winding up here, again, winding up here, winding up here with Paul Gallagher
What do your fingernails taste like these days?
What do your fingernails taste like these days?
When is the last time Noel or Liam punched you? I know you want to punch me, don't you? You want to whip me-
Thank you, Paul Gallagher.
Nobody, nobody screws with Paul Gallagher. Nobody-
You are teasing me in my little country house here.
Paul Gallagher, the brother of Liam and Noel, please tell me when was the last time you punched somebody? Like, did you punch Liam or Noel? When was the last time-
You seem to be very opinionated. Has anybody ever got mad at you or punched you at all?
Liam or Noel have not punched you? They've got mad at you recently?
Would they be happy with the way you're carrying on yourself in this manner right now?
Paul Gallagher, you describe here how you Gallaghers had such a hard upbringing. You know, Noel stole stuff, did drugs, fought bikers. So why did the boys- oh sorry, "our Liam" and "our Noel"- walk off stage here in Vancouver when a little penny hit them? Why did they walk off stage-
A little penny hit-
But the Gallagher family is tough. You're tough, right? You're tough, Paul Gallagher.
But if you're not bothered, then why does a penny make you bothered? You're teaching us-
So you want to teach us-
So Oasis, when they walk off stage - Paul Gallagher, brother of Liam and Noel - are they teaching us manners? Is that what they're doing?
They're teaching us manners? They came to Vancouver to teach us manners?
They came to Vancouver to teach us manners?
And then also - well they didn't play music because they walked off...
How come when Oasis-
But Paul Gallagher, you spokesman you-
-when Oasis came to Vancouver they held a press conference, the first time they came to Vancouver. Isn't that kind of being assholes?
You know, having a press conference when they were barely selling out a two-hundred seat venue. It was eventually moved to a larger venue, but in America, at that time whey they first came, to warrant a press conference, that was kind of being assholic, wasn't it?
Hey, just a second!
I like the Prisoners! I like the Prisoners! I like the Prisoners! Paul, are you still there? Paul. Paul?
Oh Paul, can we at least go doot doola doot doo to you?
But Liam is so hot!
Liam is so hot!
Paul, Paul. Please. Please. Paul? Paul? Paul? Paul Gallagher, brother of Liam and Noel? Paul.