Nardwuar the Human Serviette vs. Snoop Doggy Dogg (2017)
Nardwuar: Who are you?
Snoop Dogg: My name is big Snoop Dogg from the LBC.
Nardwuar: Welcome to South by Southwest in Austin, Texas, Snoop Dogg.
Snoop Dogg: Thank you Nardwuar, a pleasure to see you again, mang.
Nardwuar: Right off the bat, Snoop, I have a gift for you and it is some Snoop bootleg chocolate. Have you seen this?
[Nardwuar give Snoop a chocolate bar]
Snoop Dogg: What the fuck? Choc Stars? Who made some candy with a dog that looked damn near like me with ponytails?
Nardwuar: And look on the back what it says, “Pets Rock”.
Snoop Dogg: (reading label) “Pets Rock. The well-known individuals have not had any involvement in the creation of images and they have not approved it nor has approval been sought.” Oh wow. It’s dope though. I like it though.
Nardwuar: Is there much Snoop bootleg stuff out there?
Snoop Dogg: There really is, but I can’t be mad at it. That means that I’m in demand.
Nardwuar: And usually I talk to you in Canada, Snoop, but here is a gift from Canada, all the way to Austin.
[Nardwuar gives a gift to Snoop]
Snoop Dogg: A Cohiba?
Snoop Dogg: That is a Cuban Cohiba, a real deal, you know I split one of these about a month ago and put some of that fluid inside of it and mmm! Man I tell you.
Nardwuar: Are they hard to get in America?
Snoop Dogg: Nah, you’ve got to know the right people. I know some of the right people, you know what I’m saying?
Nardwuar: 70 bucks all the way from Vancouver to you. Thank you, Darnel.
Snoop Dogg: Thank you Darnel, good out). Appreciate you.
Nardwuar: Snoop, what is the importance of Super Socco?
Snoop Dogg: Super Socco, the importance of that is to be able to mix it with gin. It was a great ingredient that complemented the gin back in the 80s. You know, Super Socco was such a tangy, sweet, refreshing drink to mix with your gin and then you could take the gin and put it in the Super Socco bottle and just mob around with the bottle and you were Super Socco’d in all day. You know, King Tee had a verse, he said (singing lyrics) “fuck it I said fuck it, Super Socco and gin, I’m feeling like a fool.”
Nardwuar: Snoop Doggy Dogg, is Martha Stewart a G?
Snoop Dogg: A double G. She’s a G. She’s a grandmother and a good lady.
Nardwuar: She loves the special spices, doesn’t she?
Snoop Dogg: Yeah, she loves the seasonings, spices, and she loves a lot of meat, meat byproducts.
Nardwuar: Everything regarding Potluck Party seems to be grass related.
Snoop Dogg: Yeah, I mean, you know, it’s my grass roots, you know, we come from the rooter to the tooter, so you know, we start from the ground up.
Nardwuar: I have another gift for you. Last time I talked to you, Snoop Doggy Dogg, you said bring this record, Kurtis Blow, Basketball. So I did, for you, Snoop.
[Nardwuar gives an LP to Snoop]
Snoop Dogg: On Polydor records, Kurtis Blow, Basketball.
Nardwuar: Because you said that is the only basketball record that matters.
Snoop Dogg: It is the only one that matters, it’s my favourite sport. (singing) “I like the way they dribble up and down the court just like I’m the king on the microphone doing Doctor J and Moses Malone.”
Nardwuar: And you are Schnoop…
Snoop Dogg: Doggy Dogg.
Nardwuar: Doggy Dogg. And also Schnoop, I wanted to ask you about these sports-related records right here. What can you say about these sports-related records right here? Just Say No.
[Nardwuar hands Snoop some LPs]
Snoop Dogg: Oh this is the one that the Lakers did, Just Say No. Byron Scott had a dope-ass rap on here. They just brought that up the other day when he was on Sports Centre, and this is the Fat Boys with the fridge. I remember that one, Chillin’ With The Refrigerator. It was a lot of fat in this photo shoot right here.
Nardwuar: Have you been to OJ’s house?
Snoop Dogg: Have I been to OJ’s house? No I haven’t.
Nardwuar: Back in the day?
Snoop Dogg: Oh yeah, me and OJ man, we used to hang out like a motherfucker. I thought you meant since then. No, I ain’t been over to that motherfucker since then. But before, hell yeah. Me and Orenthal had a good time together.
Nardwuar: Schnoop Doggy Dogg, what is the importance of these guys right here, Gangsters & Thugs, from Compton. Do you know them at all?
[Nardwuar hands an LP to Snoop]
Snoop Dogg: I know cuz, hang out with my brother, and I know cuz (laughs). This nigger be hanging out with my brother. I didn’t know this nigger was in this group. Gangsters & Thugs. And I know this nigger up here, too (laughs). This shit crazy.
Nardwuar: So you’ve seen them around?
Snoop Dogg: I’ve seen them niggers in real life, man. I can’t believe y’all put an album out, man. Looky here, man, Endonisha, that’s the name of their first song. They spelt it wrong (laughs). They spelt it like a girl’s name, Endonisha (laughs).
Nardwuar: And Snoop Doggy Dogg, speaking of early appearances, what can you tell the people about Low Profile?
[Nardwuar show an LP to Snoop]
Snoop Dogg: Low Profile, DJ Aladdin, Dub C, Crazy Tools, was in it, Pay Ya Dues, ain’t nothing going on but a funky song. Man, they was the shit.
Nardwuar: From ’89?
Snoop Dogg: Yeah, that’s the year I graduated, so, you know, Pay Ya Dues was a hot record. Ice-T put him on. (Singing) “Thanks to Ice-T / I got my foot in the door / When I’m going to rock this motherfucker until I can’t no more / we pay dues”.
Nardwuar: Schnoop Doggy Dogg, did Bushwick Bill show you blunts?
Snoop Dogg: Bushwick Bill was the first person to smoke a blunt with me. He was the first person to actually split open a philly and ungut it, and then fill it back up with chronic and smoke it with us. We had never seen that before.
Nardwuar: Schnoop Doggy Dogg, winding up here, you have a doll, but I’ve really never asked you or shown you the Master P doll.
[Nardwuar shows a Master P doll to Snoop]
Snoop Dogg: Uhhh (squeezes doll)!
Snoop Dogg: Uhhh! This is the Master P doll.
Nardwuar: What do you think about the quality of that doll compared to the dolls you have?
Snoop Dogg: This is dope because it stood the test of the time. This doll is damn near 20 something years old, and he still looks good. Uhhh, you hear me
Nardwuar: Master P, Schnoop Doggy Dogg, really put you on big time, like he helped you out a lot. What can you tell the people about this particular compilation right here, West Coast Bad Boyz featuring Snoop Doggy…?
[Nardwuar shows an LP to Snoop]
Snoop Dogg: …Dogg.
Snoop Dogg: I had a song on there (singing), “pop like you’re with my Rolls Royce, Cadillac, Lincoln and Mercedes Benz / pop like we’re at the Howard Johnson, Sheraton, pop like we’re at the Holiday Inn / it’s that West Coast way we’re livin’ / money, cars, bitches / it’s that West Coast way we livin’ / mmmm mmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmm”
Nardwuar: And you are Snoop Doggy…
Snoop Dogg: Dogg.
Nardwuar: Winding up here, Snoop Doggy Dogg, is it true Big Boy has a dog shampoo?
Snoop Dogg: Never knew about it. He does?
Snoop Dogg: I never used it.
Nardwuar: What do you think about that, a dog shampoo, a shampoo for dogs?
Snoop Dogg: Oh, a shampoo for real dogs? Oh, that may be cool, you know, I like my dogs to smell fresh when they are around me, you know, we out in public, so I may have to try that out.
Nardwuar: Have you ever thought about that, like dog line, dog products, because I know you had mentioned that before?
Snoop Dogg: You just spun my spidey senses to create some dog products, some Snoop Dogg pet products, maybe some shampoo.
Nardwuar: Because you are Snoop Doggy…
Snoop Dogg: Dogg.
Nardwuar: Well, thanks very much, Snoop Dog. Anything you want to tell the people out there at all?
Snoop Dogg: Wherever you get your outfits from, it has to be the best store in Canada. I love your shirts, your pants, your hats. It is so 70’s game show. It’s like you could be on Let’s Make a Deal or Price is Right when Bob Barker was the host, Newlywed Game with Bob Eubanks, or the $25,000 Pyramid with Dick Clarke, you know? You just, you’re doing it man. This shit is, I mean, it’s psychedelic, man, I mean it’s sci-fi, wide screen, you know, futuristic thinking.
Nardwuar: Well thank you for the kind words, Snoop Doggy Dogg. That means a lot.
Snoop Dogg: Man, I’m telling you like it is and not like it was, man. You a fashion statement, Nardwuar, and don’t believe it when they say you’re not, ‘cause you are.
Nardwuar: Well thank you very much Snoop Doggy Dogg, keep on rocking in the free world and doot doola doot doo…
Snoop Dogg: Doot doo.